How to Choose a Spiritual Guide, Part 1: The Green Flags – What to Look For

Looking at the world today–with much of the worst of humanity on full display–it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Headlines abound, reading more like a running list of all the ways that people and communities have or will or can fail you at any moment.

Fingers pointed. Blame laid. Justice still out of reach.

While we can logically know (and see for ourselves) that there’s still good, peace, and joy in this world, it’s those negative things we most need help navigating. We want answers. And those answers can be found through spiritual institutions and leaders.

These are the very people trained to make sense out of the senseless, to break down the complexities that exist between the realm of objective reality and the subjective unknowns.

But with so much corruption, willful ignorance, and outright lying, there’s one question we must inevitably ask about all leaders: How do you know who to trust?

This two-part article offers a clear, practical framework for evaluating spiritual leaders and teachers to empower you to find your answers to that very question. Read on to learn how to safely navigate your quest for spiritual guidance.

AI-generated image depicting the scene of a religious service in an ornate church-like structure; followers display fervent devotion while the leader speaks from a pulpit. A spiritual seeker has her hand to her chin, observing the leader and followers with a mix of curiosity and caution.

The Foundation - The Pillars of an Ethical Practice

I’ve written before about the Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) and its Honor Code of Ethics and Good Practice. This is a major part of my business practices after having finally taken the steps forward into creating and launching my spiritual services as my core offering to the world.

Even before I began monetizing my knowledge and skills, ethics were always a priority for me. In my early days of studying Wicca and modern Witchcraft, I was eagerly drawn to learning and embodying the ethics and etiquette most relevant to these paths. I reacted much the same when I began my learning in medicine, psychology, and teaching.

For spiritual leaders, teachers, and guides, ethics are paramount. They are the very foundation of our paths, our practices, and our teachings. Without ethics, it’s a free-for-all where more harm than good happens, regardless of intentions.

While not all trustworthy spiritual guides use the ASI’s specific list of ethics, those committed to transparency, integrity, and safety will abide by something like it. Their words, actions, and teachings are naturally informed by these ethics because they have made these ethics a core part of who they are and the identity from which they operate in the waking world. They work to ensure their actions and support help you move toward safety, clarity, and well-being, avoiding harm at every step along the way. Some of these ethics to look out for include:

Competency and Humility
Compassion
Safety
Empowerment
Transparency
Integrity

Green Flags – Patterns of Ethical Behavior

Ethical spiritual teachers do their homework and “bring receipts”. They credit their sources, encourage student autonomy, acknowledge their limits, and maintain healthy boundaries. Let’s take a closer look at how these behaviors might manifest.

Competency & Humility: Has verifiable experience/training, credits sources, and acknowledges limitations.

A teacher who has verifiable experience/training may not always flaunt any of the titles, degrees, or accolades that they’ve earned. However, they will provide them on request. What makes them “verifiable” is that you can find and go to those organizations and confirm the attendance and status of the teacher.

For example, a spiritual teacher may hold a doctorate and even go by “Dr.” If you ask them, they should be able to provide you with the name of the institution, the degree program, the name they were enrolled under at the time, and whether it was earned or honorary. You can then easily find that institution, send a request for information with the details you were provided, and request verification directly from that independent institution.

Note: Verifying all spiritual credentials may prove trickier. Sometimes an institution or group goes defunct. For example, within Wiccan traditions, an original initiation may have been within a specific coven that was later disbanded, which happens more frequently than the community likes to admit.

Whenever a trustworthy spiritual guide is providing information or stating claims, they credit the sources. We see this commonly among Christian- or Bible-based groups where the leaders will provide the references to the direct passages. This is a way of saying, “I’m not making this up. Here’s where I’m getting this from.” Leaders within other faiths will do the same with a variety of sources, not just religious. This doesn’t mean that every spiritual teacher will provide a college-level citation for everything they say or do. But they can and will provide their sources to demonstrate expertise, as needed.

As for humility, any ethical teacher will acknowledge the limits of their abilities, skills, and knowledge. They will never claim expertise in what they know little of. They won’t overinflate their level of specialization. Instead, they will readily admit what they don’t know and are often ready to provide you with valuable resources to help you get the answers you’re looking for.

Empowerment & Autonomy: Aims to make you self-sufficient, not dependent. Encourages critical thinking and personal intuition.

The exact style and approach varies among trustworthy spiritual teachers and leaders, yet they all operate from a desire to see you grow and be able to manage your own life, your own well-being, and your spiritual health with or without them. Empowering you empowers them. While they may accept that their community depends on them for support and guidance, they recognize their leadership role is one that aims to see you become the leader of your life. Control remains with you, always.

As such, spiritual teachers put much of their efforts into helping you develop your ability to think critically about the world and society around you. They want you to be able to tap your intuition and stay safe no matter what challenges arise. Unlike cult leaders who will gaslight and manipulate to keep you from uncovering their true intentions, authentic spiritual leaders will guide you toward expanding your world so that you can live out your purpose in this life.

stock photo depicting the shadow of a human reaching their arm up toward a brilliantly radiating star; original artist unknown

Maintains Clear Boundaries: Professional in conduct, transparent about the nature of relationships and services.

Perhaps the trickiest aspect of human interactions is setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Unless you were fortunate enough to be raised among a family and community that were good with this skill, you’ve probably had to learn it the hard way or be taught explicitly how to go about it. So when you’re on the lookout for trustworthy people, this is perhaps the single-most important green flag to watch for.

Like any good therapist or other professional who gets to know the intimate details of your life, spiritual leaders often find themselves having to navigate the challenge of forming authentically deep relationships with their community members while also maintaining professional boundaries. When you first start working with a spiritual guide, they should clearly outline exactly what they do and do not do, setting expectations for both their services and their approaches. There should also be space to ask questions and clarify expectations as you work together. As you continue to work with your spiritual guide over time, they should be reinforcing those same professional boundaries they set at the start.

Compassion & Integrity: Creates a safe, respectful space for questions and struggle.

I previously wrote about the idea of holding space within Tarot readings.

“At its core, holding space is the practice of being fully present with someone, without judgment, as they explore their thoughts and feelings. When we ‘hold space’ we are creating a judgement-free zone; a time and place where we can safely allow ourselves to be open.”

This ability to be present with others openly and without judgement requires the level of compassion and integrity that are critical for spiritual leaders to possess. No matter the exact service a spiritual guide is providing at the moment, they need to create a safe space for you, especially when you aren’t at your best.

This is why competency is so important: if a spiritual guide doesn’t have the skill to support you well in times of struggle, they can cause more harm regardless of their intentions. Their integrity–adhering to uncompromised ethics–requires that they clearly and unequivocally communicate their actual ability to be present with you and provide the support and care you need in the moment.

AI-generated image of large field dotted with large trees and a stream running through it, and gentle woodland in the back. Grasses and wildflowers grow freely. Includes the words "A safe space".

Your Discernment Toolkit - Questions to Ask

In Part 2 of this article, we’ll dive into the red flags to watch out for along with ways to discern between a safe and healthy spiritual guide and others who require caution. In the meantime, these questions serve as a sort of spiritual safety toolkit. When seeking out or interacting with a spiritual teacher, these are the top questions you should ask before handing over money or your personal details.

Credibility & Approach: "What is your background and training in this area? How do you continue learning?"
Ethics & Boundaries: "Do you follow a formal code of ethics? What are your confidentiality policies and professional boundaries?"
Handling Disagreement: "How do you respond when a student questions a teaching?"
Empowerment: "What is your ultimate goal for your students or clients?"

Now that you know what ethical leadership looks like, you’ll be better equipped to notice when something doesn’t feel right. In Part 2, we'll explore the red flags: historical patterns of unethical behavior, how leaders handle mistakes, and more questions every seeker should ask.

Want to make sure you don’t miss Part 2? Subscribe to my monthly newsletter, The Starlight Circle, today.

In Light & Love, Evylyn

Evylyn Rose is an Empowerment Guide, Tarot reader, and the founder of Evylyn Rose LLC. As a Weaver of Threads, she brings over 25 years of diverse spiritual and psychological study and practice into her work. Her approach is grounded and trauma-informed, dedicated to helping others turn insight into embodied practice and find clarity at life's crossroads. Explore all her services and read her full story on the About Page.

Photograph of Evylyn Rose in black and white. She is smiling with joy and holding a selenite sphere that appears like a small moon. Her wrist is adorned with several crystal bracelets. Photograph by Matanda Mondoa.

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