Meatless Meats, Dairy-Free Milk Products, and Other Vegan Nonsense

Originally published 7/21/15 (small additions 9/3/25)

I get questions about being vegan all the time. Some ask about nutrients like protein and fats. Others ask about baking and egg substitutes. The "why" question comes up every now and again, along with "Well, what can you eat?" But my favorite is in reference to alternative food staples like meats, yogurt, cheeses, snacks, and junk foods.

Generally speaking, people get the idea of alternatives. After all, there's a ton of food allergies out there and why shouldn't someone get to enjoy an alternative since they can't enjoy the real thing? But for vegans, it's a matter of choice. If you're choosing not to eat meat. If you're choosing not to eat dairy. If you're choosing not to eat the real thing, why, then, are you seeking out alternatives?

It's a no-brainer that just because we're vegan doesn't mean we don't like tasty foods. But why do we try out alternative chicken to find one we like? Why do we hunt down recipes for the best vegan cheesecake? Why should we care if the vegan mayo doesn't taste a thing like regular mayo?

Usually we just say the alternatives are around because most of us weren't raised vegan. We ate meat and/or dairy at some point and still remember it. Most other foods we once enjoyed regularly have some form of animal product in them, so they're out now too. But I'll tell you, that's just nonsense.

Up until very recently, most of the alternatives just plain sucked and no cow-muncher-turned-vegan ever loved the taste of any of them at the start. (I, myself, couldn't stand the taste of the available dairy-free cheeses and several other options until over a year after making the switch.)

But then yesterday I came up with the real answer. It's the answer anyone from such an individualistic and self-centered society (bonus points for the non-conformists) hates to admit.

Walking through the grocery store with my son, I said to him, "I can't wait until they make vegan string-cheese so you can enjoy that." Well that's silly, isn't it?

No, not really. I mean, I want my son to get to enjoy things I enjoyed as a child, but I also want him to remain vegan until he's old enough to understand and make the choice for himself. (Yes, I'm one of those, "It's his body. Who am I to decide for him?" types.) Alternatives to meat and dairy-based foods for vegans are getting tastier and tastier, and easier to find. I love that I have these things to add variety for my son.

And I take comfort in knowing they're around to make him feel normal.

There it is. That's the sole reason for alternatives. We are a minority who are usually treated pretty mean (we may not be getting fired over it, but we certainly face prejudice regularly, even from those we love). I've lost count of the parties and celebrations we weren't invited to admittedly for no other reason than because we wouldn't be able to eat the hosts' food. During our time living in southwest Virginia, I had more than one person tell me point-blank that they are "anti-Vegan".

Thank you, deeply ingrained lies. You've made those of us who are different stick out like sore thumbs yet again. Now we have to make our food like your food so we can fake fitting in. *sigh*

But hey, I'm not complaining. I very much like my alternatives and it's not like there's people standing outside the grocery stores protesting about them. There's actually a growing movement toward accepting the alternatives to help non-vegans cut back on meat and dairy consumption for health reasons.

Fake meats and non-dairy versions of dairy products may seem like nonsense to you, but I enjoy my yummy "fake" food and my son won't be made to feel like an outcast when his packed lunch has lunch meats, puddings, cheese and crackers, and milks just like the other kids'.